What do you do when your life is so full of chaos and destruction, the hope has vanished and the noise will not stop? I stumbled onto the Reiki principles Just for Today “I can do that”. Let me explain…
The chaos has been building externally for years. I reached my breaking point and needed somewhere to put all my anger. Drifting through experiences, apathy was my road map, numbness was my personality, and anger was my answer.
I knew instinctively there were two very different sides of me. There was the me who struggled every day with mundane things and there was the me who flew by the seat of her pants listening only to her instinct. Then in 2016, my instinct took over. It recognized I was not coping. I stopped listening to my instinct, gut intuition, source or higher self - whatever word you use for it - I stopped listening. I let external forces appeal to my ego and I got lost. So lost that I called it the dark place. It said, “Girl, we need to fix this.”
Why did I stop trusting my intuition?
When I was 27 I was really connected with myself. I meditated daily, I was calm, and I felt at peace. I practiced this for a long time. Then I heard a number that felt like my death number. I cannot explain it. It frightened me. I stopped meditating and left the practice. I became lonely and scared. I looked to external sources to fill my void. I spent more, ate more, and hated more. None of these quenched my need for peace. That was still the primary thing I was seeking. I forgot how to find it.
The death number turned out to be the same as the death card in a Tarot deck. It just means new beginnings. The end of something and the beginning of something else. That death number was the beginning of my energy-healing journey.
In 2016, my life began to unravel. People entered my life to shake me up and then they left. I was so angry I didn’t know where to put all that emotion. My desire for things to be different was becoming larger than I was. I turned on a Dr. Wayne Dyer podcast and heard him talk about the space in between the words and the peace and meaning found there. Wayne Dyer promised me I would lose my desire for material items if I meditated for 15 days in a row.
So, I did.
I sat quietly for ten minutes, breathing deeply and would recite a little prayer I found called Just for Today.
· Just for today, I will not worry.
· Just for today, I will not be angry.
· Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
· Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings.
· Just for today, I will be kind to my neighbour and every living thing.
This began to help. I felt more in control of my environment. I began listening to my instinct and took myself to the ocean. I waded in and felt grounded. Tingles ran the length of my spine. I felt as if I was awakening after a deep and unconscious slumber. I felt rejuvenated enough to come home and face the chaos. Yet I needed more.
People and circumstances began to appear as I needed them. All pointing me in the same direction. I needed to look within. External items were not my answer, looking inward would help. Suddenly I became consumed with the desire to learn about meditation, mindfulness and positive thought.
I read books, listened to podcasts and talked to like-minded individuals. I knew all of this was getting me to where I needed to be yet I still avoided the one thing I knew I needed. I needed a daily meditation practice.
Reflecting on the 15 days and remembering how I felt. Daily practice was a gift I gave myself. I used to be that person who woke up at the last minute a scrambled to get to work. I now started my day earlier. Giving myself time to create a ritual just for me. It began with lighting a candle and welcoming myself into my meditation space. If I was running late for work, I would be late. I was putting myself first for the first time in my life.
It felt good even if it was Just for Today.
My daily practice began in December 2016, and I haven’t missed a day since. People have commented on the change in me. I see it too. I feel at peace. I can approach situations by looking at all sides, not just mine. I still feel a range of emotions, but anger doesn’t stick around long. She shows up, I acknowledge her and then she leaves.
Seven years later, I explored many different forms of meditation. I have favourites that I return to regularly, but I also try methods that are new to me. I think I am my true self now. Three little words changed everything for me and I am so grateful for it.
Click the link below to listen to my guided meditations for free. It doesn’t have to be a daily practice, just for today.
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